The B-Roll #1

This is the first edition of my weekly newsletter, The B-Roll. Thank you for coming along for the ride.

Hey you,There’s this newspaper clipping that I’ve carried around for over 25 years.

It contains a few different translations of Rudyard Kipling’s “If” and when my mom gave it to me, it became the foundation for my love of poetry and literature. When I learned English at 10, one of the first things I did was find the original version of the poem and memorize it.

If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,  

Although I don’t have the poem hanging on my walls anymore, I have etched it into my subconscious.

Just like the memories of my mom teaching me how to read and write when I was 4-years-old because words were always her escape too. I lost that connection with her pretty early on, not because I stopped reading, but because I began writing. I wrote through my pain and angst.

Words became both my escape and my way to experience the world. Later on in life, they became my career.

It’s the best gift anyone has ever given me.

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;  

Our most defining moments in life are rooted in overcoming doubts, whether they’re internal or external.

I’ve been doing a lot of work on overcoming my doubt in multiple areas of my life recently. I’ve tried a lot of methods over the years, but the one thing that finally made the difference was setting boundaries. Boundaries in my personal life, boundaries in my professional life, and even boundaries in how I talk to myself.

But remember that setting boundaries is not the tough part, it’s keeping them intact when doubt creeps in.

“I shouldn’t cut toxic people out of my life or I’ll be alone.”

“Pushing back against my manager, even when I’m right, could cost me my job. I should keep my head down and do everything I’m asked.”

“No one cares about your thoughts. Why do you keep writing? Just fade away.”

***

But I keep writing because it’s how I make sense of the world.

So, when burnout hit a few years ago, and I stopped writing, I lost a part of myself to that doubt. It was all-consuming and no matter how hard I tried to fight it; I kept getting stuck.

Until I finally stopped. I took a sabbatical from life.

When I went to Turkey for 2 months last year, I took a mental health break from work for the first time in 20 years. I had grand ambitions to get back to writing and start working on my book. Instead, my brain said “Enough” and forced me to rest. I journaled some. I wrote a couple of blogs.

But I mainly processed everything alone.

I wasn’t ready to share my new boundaries with the world just yet.

***

“You share too much.”

Maybe I do.

But I’m alone on this journey we call life. I’m surrounded by an amazing support system, friendships spanning decades, and my professional community with the few people I trust. But no matter how much time I spend with other people, virtually or in real life, at the end of the day, I’m alone.

So, when I put my words are out there, it’s for those of you who may also work on making sense of your doubts, figuring out how to enforce those boundaries that you’ve set. Maybe it’s just one sentence out of the thousands I’ve written, maybe it’s a silly tweet, maybe it’s these emails, my words are yours as much as they’re mine.

***

That's why I'm writing you this letter, and hope to continue writing them every week. But let's get to the fun stuff.

 LANGUAGE CORNER: Today's Turkish expression is one of my absolute favorites.

"Senin canın can da benimki patlıcan mı?" literally translates to "Your life is life but mine is an eggplant?"

It's our way of asking someone why they think their life is more valuable than yours. It's also a good way to call out someone's selfishness. Gives a whole new meaning to the eggplant emoji.

SHARING CORNER: Here are a few things I've enjoyed recently

🍺 and Legos? "

The little Lagers and shrunken Stouts of the world are reflections of the person I’ve grown to be: someone who’d rather take bite-sized chunks out of life than try to swallow it whole."

A "Practical Magic" kitchen: 

 If you're like me and wished you lived in the Practical Magic house, then you will love this kitchen. 

Significance of neighborhood culture in Turkey: 

Honestly, this is where my love of community began.

***

Thanks for reading this far, friend. As with everything in life, this will be a work-in-progress and you can always hit "Reply" to give me feedback, commentary, or your thoughts on the topic of the letter.Until next time, I wish you a sane and healthy week.With love,