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The B-Roll #5
The B-Roll #5đź’Ś: Some thoughts on friendships
This is the fifth edition of my weekly newsletter, The B-Roll. Thank you for coming along for the ride.
Hi there,
The other day, I had a random thought about the different versions of me that live in other people’s heads.
There are moments when I wish I could meet them, to understand how others perceive me.
Inspired by the Frederick Nietche quote, “[a]ll things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth,” I wrote about this in early 2020.
I’ve gotten better at not caring about what people think of me and my decisions, but how we interact with others. As a society, we’re so quick to judge. We make snap judgments without even thinking about how others may perceive us in passing on the next bad day we’re having, but still have to be out in public because life goes on.
It’s human nature. It’s preconceived. It will become confirmation bias until we attempt to recognize the factors that influence social perception.
Our perception should be more than the sum of the momentary snapshots we experience.
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In 10 days, I'm getting on a plane to go back to Istanbul for 3 months and I'm overwhelmed with emotion. Last year, when I did this for 2 months, I was literally taking a break from life to recover from burnout. Now, I will be living my life, working at night, and spending time with friends and family on the weekends. I'm going to spend time exploring my home but also just being there. I spent the majority of my life feeling like I didn't really belong anywhere, out of place, even not feeling "Turkish enough" to go back home.Now, I have people on both continents who have carved out a place for me in their lives. My absence is noted. They miss me as much as I miss them. They look forward to making memories with me.One of those people is my friend of 30 years. THIRTY. That's just wild to me. I learned that it's possible to belong because I let go of people who didn't want me in their lives for the right reasons. As I evolved as a person, there were people in my life that continued to cling to who I was at my weakest instead of embracing the person I was growing into. There are a few people from my past that I still miss. But I don't miss who I was with them.This has been one of the more difficult lessons in friendships.That I'm allowed to outgrow people. I'm allowed to outgrow situations. I'm allowed to outgrow myself.And so are you.
Mental Health Corner
Doing What Matters in Times of Stress: An Illustrated Guide is a stress management guide for coping with adversity (World Health Organization)
Managing Stress Associated with the COVID-19 Virus Outbreak from National Center for PTSD (PTSD isn’t just for post-combat. We’re all dealing with a form of it.)
LANGUAGE CORNER: What I would've shared in last week's newsletter if I was sober
"Çakırkeyif" translates to "winepleasure" which is another word for tipsy, or what enjoying life in a beautiful, half-drunk state.
So, basically, how I was feeling all of last weekend in Napa.
Çakır actually means wine in old Turkish.
SHARING CORNER: Why don't you share something with me this week?
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Thanks for reading this far, friend. As with everything in life, this will be a work-in-progress and you can always hit "Reply" to give me feedback, commentary, or your thoughts on the topic of the letter.Until next time, I wish you a sane and healthy week.With love,